When I was planning my week on Sunday, I had a specific list of blog topics that I wanted to cover and what day I was to write them. Nothing could be simpler, I thought. Wow, was I wrong. I had it all planned. Todays blog would be about authors that my children enjoyed reading. A nice, light, educational post with a strictly PG rating.
And then it happened.
The crash.
A little background information
When I am pregnant I am sick. Not just throw up once or twice sick, but on medication sick. In hospital sick. Miserable sick. My hormones are in overload, which creates hyperemesis, an unusual and debilitating form of morning sickness. Nothing I eat stays down for nine months. The only way to get nutrition to both me and the baby is to take a colourful cocktail of drugs to suppress the nausea and allow me to keep at least half of the food I eat.
As if that isn't enough, the influx of hormones creates what I not-so-fondly refer to as my "black cloud". During pregnancy I suffer from antenatal depression. Coping becomes a daily struggle. Getting up is (some days) like climbing Mount Everest. I become tired, isolated and extremely down.
Usually this depression disappears on the birth of the baby. But not this time. This time I was so determined to cope. Not only cope, but to be a super mum. Not just ANY super mum, but THE super mum that other mums look at and think, "wow, she has 3 young kids and she can do it!".
But it didn't work out like that.
After 4 years of battling with depression and anxiety, postnatal depression finally got me. That or it was a combo attack of the depression and my performance anxiety as a mother.
But after 5 months of struggling, I finally managed to claw my way out from under this new "black cloud" and reappear in the world of the living again. I attended Church. Visted friends. Went to play groups.
The Struggle
This isn't usually something I am forthcoming about. I'm happy to let people know that I do suffer from "anxiety" (the stigma of the word "depression" brings too many judgemental stares and uncomfortable silences). But to tell people that I have a daily struggle to enjoy my husband, my children, my home, my life, is hard.
Harder still has been trying to tell myself that this won't last forever.
And so to today's post.
I know there are other people out there. Other people struggling daily to cope, to enjoy, to live. So I've decided to share my strategies to staying sane in this crazy world.
Ways to Stay Sane in a Crazy World
- Have a code word. For example, ours is "Push the button, Max!" If my darling hubby says that, then I know that I've entered an anxiety zone and need to do something to reset myself. It has to be something that he can say in public and not appear like a total loony (or make me to appear like one!). Something instantly recognisable.
- Go for a walk. If your children are with you, go to the park and just enjoy them. If you can, go for a walk in the morning sunshine, and think about the glory of God's creation as you pass flowers, letterboxes, trees, and people.
- Have a cuppa and read a magazine. It only needs to be for 10 minutes. Just enough to break the cycle.
- Ring a friend. Sometimes all you need is to know someone is there.
- Bundle the kids in the car and go window shopping. I usually buy them something special to bribe them with or keep them interested. All it needs to be is a $2 shop item. Go and dream. Look at gardening items, clothes, food, housewear. Whatever you like to dream about.
- Do some exercise. I get out to the gym without the kids when hubby gets home. Its just a break from your own four walls.
- Take a long bath (or a shower). Feel the water surround you. Flowing over you and taking your troubles and thoughts away with it.
- If a specific task is causing anxiety, complete it. Sometimes thats all it takes!
- Collect scriptures you can read when you are feeling depressed/anxious. I have mine in my bedroom. I can pull them off the wall and walk around the house praying and declaring their promises aloud. You are a child of God. He doesn't say you can have the things he's promised if you're a good girl. He says you have them because He loves you. Claim them.
- Turn on some inspirational music. If you fill your life with negative things that breed discontent and depression, you will feel discontented and depressed. Make a concious effort to put on music that makes you sing or dance. Perhaps worship. I have a collection of music from when I was a teenager that I just have to listen to to start tapping away. It instantly lifts my spirits.
- Get outside. Whether it is to pull weeds, hang washing, go for a short walk, whatever. Get out into the sunshine.
- Do something you can feel good about. Something creative. Make a card. Bake a cake. Anything that makes you feel like you've achieved something.
- Pick some flowers. If you don't have a flower garden (we don't!!), perhaps ask the next door neighbour if you could pick a few of theirs. Display them somewhere you often look.
Well, there are my coping strategies. I hope they've helped. Perhaps you could help others by sharing some of yours in the comments section!
